her thoughts seem jumbled in her head and she struggles to sort them out. it is hard to do, being in the state of mind she is currently in... a vicious cycle - she has to clear her thoughts but cannot do so with her frazzled mind. she wonders if gazing out the window would help.
it doesn't.
every little activity she sees outside reminds her of what she already has inside her head. she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. when she opens her eyes, she expects that things would look better, literally and figuratively.
it doesn't.
everything stays the same. the thoughts buzzing in her head buzz louder and louder and louder - to the point where she feels her very skull would split open... but would that be so bad? at leaast the bad thoughts would not bother her so much... she walks to the stereo next to the dressing table and puts on a cd... king diamond's abigail... and turns on the title track at full volume. as the opening strands begin, she lays down on her bed and closes her eyes and loses herself fully to the music even before the end of the first verse...
let the noises come from the outside and drown the ones in her head.
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