Love at first sight

When I had my miscarriage my mom reminded me that there's always a reason for everything that Allah does. In my grief, naturally, I failed to see the silver lining behind that dark, grey cloud. Far from holding blame or 'losing my faith', I gave in wholeheartedly to His Grace and Will.

Even though I was devastated, I told myself to be patient and that Allah had bigger plans for me. I held firm to the belief that He would never test me with something I could not handle. But deep in my heart, I still couldn't help thinking about what could have been. Even throughout my pregnancy with Chikuk, his Dad and I would still talk about the baby we lost. I'll always feel some guilt for that. But all that would soon change.

I remember... The first time I locked eyes with my little prince (9 LOOOOOOOONG hours after he was born because the nurses felt I should rest), I finally saw that brilliant silver lining. What Allah had been preparing me for... Had I had the first baby, this beautiful, amazing, wonderful being I was holding in my arms would never be in existence. I would never know the joy and happiness that only he could have brought into my life. I thank Allah for giving me the strength to hold on and be patient. And for this wonderful gift that he has given me...